It is enough to stop you smiling

Posted on: 02/12/2011

We girls like to have our secrets.

My secret was always my figure. While I may have looked slim, underneath my lovely dress was usually a pair of "magic pants" responsible for creating the perfect silhouette that was the envy of others.

Then there is the fake tan that helps me - and many other ladies -  create a healthy glow even in the darkest depths of a cold, dark British winter.

Of course, there is more than one way of glowing. White, shiny teeth can be the answer - and most people with good teeth smile widely to share their good fortune with the world.

Which brings me to the lovely Kate Middleton.

Kate will never need "magic pants" - they would drop to her ankles due to lack of support! Equally, why use fake tan when you travel to enough sunny climes to get a healthy dose of the real thing?

However, it appears from the media that Kate HAS needed a little assistance with her ivories. The Times (news must have been short) last Saturday featured a long article about a Paris-based dentist who has, apparently, brought the newest member of the Royal Family's teeth up to the required standard.

I say required standard and by that I mean "lovely enough to be flashed constantly", for when is Kate ever allowed to stop smiling? Not even the most sycophantic Synchronised Swimmer has to smile as much as she does.

What amazes me about this relatively trivial story is that it has arisen at the same time as the Leveson Inquiry into the (inappropriate) behaviour of significant elements of the UK media. Surely Kate Middleton's choice of dentist (if any) is not something of genuine public interest? Would any of the rest of us enjoy such exposure of our dental treatments? And, of course, why stop at Dentistry? Has Kate got a Chiropidist who keeps her on her toes? etc, etc, etc.

I hope Leveson brings an end to all this media snooping. There are more important matters that should occupy the detection skills of our "Free Press".

And if the end of snooping also means the end of "Hello!" and "OK", I will live with that tragic "loss". Any tears I shed will be of the crocodile variety.

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